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We all make resolutions on New Year's Day. But when real life gets in the way of our plans, we often give up or give in. These three moms set goals that aren't so unusual--to lose 13 pounds, to spend more time with the kids, to get another degree--and they're determined to reach them. We sought advice from the experts to help them achieve their goals.

"I want to lose weight."--Andrea Fant-Hobbs

The situation: Andrea Fant-Hobbs, who is an accounts director at a New York City advertising agency, races home to New Jersey every evening to spend time with her family. She's finding it hard to fit exercise into an already hectic schedule. "I know what it is to feel in peak condition, and I want to feel that way again," says Fant-Hobbs, who swears that before the baby she was never able to pinch an inch. "I want to lose 13 pounds, but am overwhelmed by the idea of creating yet another schedule for exercise."

The obstacles: Although exercise and healthy eating used to be part of her regular routine ("I'd get up early and walk the dog for two miles before the sun came up"), these days she uses her early morning hours to squeeze in some quality time with her daughter before getting her ready for school. Hubby now walks the dog. Fant-Hobbs's eating habits have also changed. Because she's so preoccupied in the evenings with caring for her daughter, sometimes dinner consists of four chocolate-chip cookies and a glass of milk at midnight.

An expert's advice: Angela Phillips, a personal trainer, mother of two and manager of Self Mountain Fitness Center in South Orange, New Jersey, says Fant-Hobbs should focus on small steps. "I don't believe in quick fixes," she says. "Instead of aiming to lose 13 pounds, Andrea should start with small goals that will eventually become part of her daily routine. For example, she could pack a healthy snack for herself to eat during her train ride home from work each day." Some other ideas:

* Take back the responsibility of walking the dog in the mornings two days a week. Or put the baby in the stroller and walk for 25 minutes.

* Swap babysitting time with another mother so you can have 30 minutes of designated exercise time. Then return the favor by watching her child for her when it suits both your schedules.

* Squeeze in some sit-ups or push-ups while watching TV at night.

* Go dancing with hubby. As long as you're moving, it counts.

"I want to find balance."--Ridvan Foxhall

The situation: Ridvan Foxhall is a stay-at-home mom who recently launched IdaraFox.com, an online ethnic-accessories boutique, from her home. She wants to devote more energy to her fledgling business, but she does not want to steal away quality time from her kids.

The obstacles: Foxhall spends most of her waking hours caring for her children. Her son attends preschool for half a day, five days a week; her 1-year-old daughter is with her 24-7. Because her husband works the night shift, he often sleeps during the day. Foxhall can usually only manage one hour during the day for business-related activities. The rest of the work gets done between 10:00 P.M. and 1:00 A.M., well after the kids are in bed. She's hesitant to hire a babysitter to free up some of her time. "I'm not ready to hand my kids over to a stranger, and I don't think I can afford the expense," she explains.

An expert's advice: Liz Ryan, founder of WorldWIT.org, an international online women's networking community, understands Foxhall's concerns. But the guilt has got to go. "Many working mothers want to achieve a happy equilibrium between work and family, but that is not always realistic," she says. "Sometimes you have to put more energy into one or the other." Her suggestions:

* Find regular babysitting help. Foxhall can ask friends, her pediatrician or family members for child-care referrals. She might even enlist the help of a relative or trusted friend. "There's a big difference between a stranger and a competent babysitter," Ryan says.

* Figure out where your attention is needed most. If Foxhall knows that business is going to get hectic for a week, she might ask her husband to help out (perhaps he can change his schedule) or she could hire a babysitter for a few hours, Ryan says. On the flip side, if Zia is sick or Jared has a play date, Foxhall should have a backup plan (bringing in temp help, for example) so business does not interfere with family concerns.

"I want to go back to school."--Mona Abdulla

The situation: After being passed over for a supervisory position and eventually laid off, she says, because she lacked an advanced degree, Mona Abdulla has decided she wants to earn a master's in professional writing from the University of Southern California (USC). "I want to teach college English and do some writing on the side," she explains. "I never thought I'd be 30 years old without a master's degree."

The obstacles: Like most working mothers of young children, Abdulla often ends her day exhausted, sometimes doing household chores after 11:00 P.M. Ever since she lost her job, her husband, a social worker, has been the family's primary provider. To help out, Abdulla picks up odd jobs, which leaves little time to focus on getting into school. Because she has so little study time, Abdulla is afraid she won't score high enough on the Graduate Record Examination (GRE) to get into USC.

An expert's advice: Sophfronia Scott, a life coach based in New York City, believes Abdulla should put off school enrollment as an immediate goal and shoot for 2005. Her suggestions:

* Build a support network. Abdulla could ask friends and family for help with child care so she could have designated time to do school-related tasks such as study for the GRE.

* Save money. She should set some realistic goals for catching up with her bills, then begin putting money aside for school-related expenses. Abdulla should also inquire about financial aid.

* Simplify. "Mona should make her school plans a priority and say no when other things, like some of the odd jobs, come up. Getting ready for school should be her only extra activity," Scott says.

HOW OTHER MOMS ACHIEVE BALANCE

Some tips from real mothers who've mastered the juggling act:

"I used to get stressed out because I was so busy that I was always losing stuff. So I got a filing cabinet and used it. I created a folder for each new project, and now I can always find what I need."

--Barbara Mair, mother of two, Pleasantville, New York

"When I was young and poor, so were most of my girl-friends. So we got together and started a "chain sitting" group, where we created a five-week schedule for babysitting. Every fifth weekend you'd watch everyone else's children, but the other four weeks were free for you to go out with hubby, run errands, take a walk, whatever."

--Dr. Quincy Tharps, mother of three, Milwaukee

"When I was a new mother, my husband worked long hours and occasional weekends. Trying to find time to get to the store for diapers and other essentials sometimes made me want to cry. My husband suggested I look on the Internet to see if I could have what I needed delivered to my doorstep. I found everything online, from cloth diapers to nursing pads, plus there's more variety than what's available in my neighborhood."

--Nyaguthii Chege, mother of one, Takoma Park, Maryland

"I gave up nagging my kids about cleaning up the living room. Because I was the only one who cared, I just began to pick up the clutter myself. We were all much happier. And within months the kids got used to the living room looking a certain way and started picking up their own stuff without prompting."

--Janice Smith Mauras, mother of two, New York City

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Lori L. Tharps is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn.